This is week 2 of coming out of the baby closet. And it feels liberating! After I told my office that I was pregnant, I told them that I was beginning to fear that they would think that I was just getting fat. I honestly felt like there was an elephant in the room. I felt that everyone 'knew' I was pregnant and I was trying to hide it from them.
One of the top questions that people have asked me, which is a little weird-
Were you guys trying?
You might have well asked me if we were going at it like bunnies. I think people who are trying don't generally tell people that they're trying. People who struggle to conceive, well the majority of them, don't make it public knowledge until they are successful.
So anyhow. We weren't checking temperatures, tracking days or trying the best positions. No, we weren't trying but we weren't trying to NOT get pregnant either, you know to keep it PG.
I always knew that I wanted to have children. I also knew the I didn't want to wait too long to start 'trying'- I've heard/read many stories about people who wait and wait and wait until they think the time is right and when they finally do start trying- they struggle and sometimes aren't able to conceive.
The night before i took the pregnancy test at home I was praying. I had the feeling that i was pregnant but i wasn't certain. And with the uncertainty came, well uncertainty. I thought to myself- what if i really am pregnant? and my mind started racing a thousand miles a minute with every possible answer to "what does this mean?" What does this mean for me? For juju? What about school? What about work? Can we afford a baby? Can we pay to send our baby to private school? it's first car? college? and then i thought but what if I'm not?
So i laid out my cards on the table for God to see and said Let it be your will, not mine. If we are meant to have a baby and that time is now- so be it, I was ready to accept God's plan.
And just like that God sent a little blessing our way the very next day.
3 comments:
I almost forgot to check your blog and Im so excited I did not forget! I too have so many questions... but not inappropriate ones. Get ready for those! Some people have no shame! Next they will ask what position you got pregnant in. I remember when I was waiting for those lines with Gabriel. I was literally in tears worried that it would come back negative... or positive. Will didnt know what to say! CONGRATS!
Thank you Adela! I felt as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest... those 3 mins to wait for the results are just too long, if you ask me! i cried, i laughed, i eat!!
They are the loooongest 3 minutes of your life...maybe because the result can change your life forever!
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