Love Letters

This weekend, Juju and I will be going to our couples retreat. I have to admit, I am a bit nervous. I'm going to be blunt, i don't want to go. I'm going to be honest, Juju doesn't want to go. I know it will only one day, but something about it makes me feel uneasy.

When you get married through the catholic church, and probably other churches as well, you have to take pre marital classes along with a quick 500 question questionnaire. And then what ever you get wrong, as in what ever you and your partner don't agree on, you will go over. ONE by ONE. I'm not sure if that's what we'll be doing this weekend, or if that is done with the priest that will marry us. One day juju and i discussed what we would do if our priest would say he wouldn't marry us. Juju promptly answered, "well, we'll just have somebody else do it" I was referring to the whole 500 question questionnaire.

A friend of mine said she and her then fiance had to write love letters to each other and read them to each other. Now, I'm not sure if this was out loud or in private. I can handle that. I'm good (sorta) at expressing myself in writing. At least anything that i have ever written for Juju has made its point across.

I guess i really don't know how to describe how I'm feeling about the whole retreat. I'm not shy. It will be bilingual, thank goodness, believe it or not, i don't know all the Spanish words in the dictionary. I feel like they are going to... not criticize, more so, analyze our relationship. I'm afraid they will conclude or assume that, by their book, we'll answer too many questions wrong, thus not making a good match, or a good candidate to get married. I think I'm over thinking this.

I know how much i love Juj. I know the problems we have. I know our weaknesses, our strengths. I know what we agree on and what pushes his buttons. Sure sometimes he wants to throw a kidney punch and i sometimes want to drop kick him, but i mean... who doesn't? If i have to write him a love letter, i will include my mild desires to drop kick him. He'll know what i mean. As i sit here and think more about this, i am beginning to feel a bit more calm. I know i have nothing to worry about, because like i said in the beginning, he's my lobsters. And once lobsters find their mate, they will grow old, holding hands.